botspeaksalot | First Keyword. [video/text/action for new bark town.]

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First Keyword. [video/text/action for new bark town.]

[The video function turns on with a few robotic beeps, catching the attention of the owner who spins quickly to snatch it up.]

Ah. A multi-functional communication device. Perfect. [It doesn't stop this guy from looking any less irritated, though...] There have been...things taken from me. I wish for them to be returned and for me to be sent home immediately. Additionally, if those by the names of Shoutarou Hidari and/or Akiko Narumi have been transported as well, please direct them to me.

That is all I will require.

[Then, quite simply, the device is unceremoniously dropped--and a cybernetic bird appears with a disapproving buzz. Philip, that is no way to ask for help. In a moment, that thing is Porygone and a text appears on the network.]

HELLO
ANY HELP WILL BE APPRECIATED
THANK YOU

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Like that matters? Some of us came here and weren't human to begin with. Now we are. What is impossible happens and you're just going to have to get used to it.

Ah. So we are all changed into regular humans on arrival...

[That would make sense. Philip couldn't remember ever being normal--once upon a time he'd been more like a devil than a human, really. If that had really changed... Sorry, Karkat, he's muttering to himself, now.]

That could explain why I can no longer access the library. It is not that it has been taken, it's that I have been modified.

Library?

[Oh, whoops.]

Library, noun. A building or room in which literary, musical, artistic, or reference materials such as books, manuscripts, recordings, or films are kept for use but not for sale. Alternatively, it is simply a collection of such materials. These are the most common definitions of a library.

[At least the knowledge he already has hasn't left him...]

I know what one is, nitwit. That's not what I was asking about. What you mean by it is what I'm asking!

You should really be more clear.

[Not that he didn't suspect that's what Karkat meant. It's the 'nitwit' comment that motivates him to be less covert than usual.]

It is normally within my ability to access all the knowledge of the Earth. In ways, I am the smartest man on the planet.

Being able to access vast amounts of information doesn't make you anything.

Given the information's location, I must disagree. The Gaia Library is contained in my head. Only two others have been able to access it in the past--an impressive feat, I assure you.

But it's not anything you've done personally.

[There's a certain flatness creeping into his tone. He's also a bit peeved because he's discussing this in the first place--he's still more used to hiding in the basement and being a mystery to others.]

I have conducted massive amounts of research regarding numerous subjects, and navigating the books themselves can be more difficult than you would assume.

Sounds like pure unadulterated laziness to me. It's hard to navigate a book? Seriously?

Finding a book in the Gaia Library requires specific keywords--which can range from mundane to incredibly distinctive. When searching for a single book pertaining to your interests, paring down the results to one from tens of thousands is, as I said, difficult. To make things worse, there are times when individual books have their contents obscured by locks or...pages having been torn out.

It does not do one good to underestimate the Library.

It's not this Library that I'm underestimating here or is that part not sinking in? Great. You had a plethora of knowledge at your finger tips with just a mere thought. Awesome. Amazing. Anyone can do that with a husktop and a great internet connection.

What you're underestimating is the value of finding shit yourself the "difficult" way.

[Pause.]

The value of my research is not measured by the method in which it is found, but what it is used for. The effectiveness and efficiency of the Library, however, has served both me and my comrades well.

...Also, I am not familiar with the term 'husktop'.

It's a troll slang term for laptop, more or less.

But the problem is, there's nothing like the smell of a freshly opened book or one that's ripe with age. There's love and devotion in those pages. Someone's painstakingly taken their time to devote themselves to each and every book. People have touched those books and have transferred their feelings into every page.

Fuck, there's even a science to library studies! Searching for it only strengthens your think pan!

I am more interested in the contents of the books, not their scents.

[Sorry, Karkat, Philip is sounding a bit dismissive. Perhaps he's distracted by the mental note to research trolls. Or maybe it's the fact that this almost seems like the type of thing Shoutarou would lecture him on.]

I will take that kind of thinking into account the next time I am able to conduct a proper study. I am afraid my resources at this time are limited to these two guidebooks, which I have already looked through.

Was one Riku's?

I do not believe so. [He'll be a good sport and make sure, though.

Nnnnope.] Neither appear to have been--the first is titled 'Trainer Handbook' and the second 'A Guide to Pokemon Breeding'. I assumed they were standard issue upon one's arrival. Am I missing a volume?

Riku's one of the unfortunate souls that have had the "pleasure" of being here for more than two years. I think he's written a more comprehensive guide.

I see. I would be very interested in reading that as well, should the opportunity arise.

I'm shocked he hasn't offered.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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